When working with couples, I'm also quite active (not just listening or just asking questions). We'll typically be doing two things at once: We'll start by discussing whatever problems, conflicts, or decisions you need help with. But while that discussion is happening, I'll also be watching for patterns in your relationship that we might need to change: how you talk to each other, how you accidentally trigger each other's baggage, or perhaps how you keep falling into the same fights over and over.

Once we discover troublesome patterns, I'll offer tools or strategies for changing those dynamics. I find that most couples I see manage to start changing the direction of their relationship after only a few sessions: starting to move out of the downward spiral where they're getting more and more hurt and irritated, and taking some significant steps in a positive direction. We won't solve all your problems in two or three sessions, but if my approach is a good match for your situation (that is, if my strategies are going to help you), you should notice a positive change in direction fairly quickly.

Other things to know: I am poly-positive, trans-positive, and comfortable working with straight, lesbian, and gay couples. I am not a sex therapist (i.e., I have no special training in dealing with sexual issues) but I am comfortable talking about sex and desire (or lack of it), and have helped couples struggling with these issues.